


I don´t wanna be a smurf! (Translation)

by nitzimetzi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcoholic Tony Stark, Boys Kissing, Choking, Crying, Drunken Kissing, Face Slapping, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Nicknames, Panic Attacks, Past Brainwashing, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Song Lyrics, Surprise Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 20:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12441336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitzimetzi/pseuds/nitzimetzi
Summary: Tony meets Loki at his bar at 3 am.Alcohol and music are following.





	I don´t wanna be a smurf! (Translation)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I don´t wanna be a smurf!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12268011) by [nitzimetzi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitzimetzi/pseuds/nitzimetzi). 



> In this Oneshot Loki lives as part of the team in the Avengers-Tower.  
> Inspiration has been this picture:  
> https://i.pinimg.com/564x/aa/5a/d0/aa5ad0e878abf4456766d49146fa017a--avengers-texts-avengers-marvel.jpg
> 
> The used songs are:
> 
> Footloose - Kenny Loggins  
> Dance the Night away - David Banner  
> The Sound of Silence - Disturbed  
> Princess Chaos - Angelspit  
> (and mentioned:) Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes

Tony strolled into the living room of the penthouse, his hand touching the doorframe for a second.

"...Jarvis, music. Something hot. Hit me with _footloose_."

The chilly quiet of the night became disrupted by drums and bass guitar.

Tony strolled to the bar, intend on mixing himself a cocktail. It didn´t concern him that it was 3 am.

"...I´ve been working...so hard...I´m punchin´ my card...Eight hours...for what...Oh, tell me, what I´ve got..."

He grabbed the bottles and began to mingle the ingredients, his back to the counter.

"I´ve got this feeling...that life´s just holding me down- yeah. I´ll hit the ceiling..." He turned around."...or else I´ll tear up this to- OWN!"

Abruptly his singing slipped up into a undignified yowl, as he found himself eye to eye with Loki.

Above him the music continued to play merrily.

 

_Now I gotta cut loose, footloose, kick off your sunday shoes..._

 

**"Jarvis, mute!"**

Silence.

"Goddammit, don´t sneak up on me like that!"

A moment went by before the other reacted.

"...I wasn´t sneaking." He answered in a rough voice.

Tony gave him a once over.

Loki wore a soft green shirt that seemed to be the top of his pajamas, and his usual tied back and combed hair fell in a disheveled mop onto his shoulders.

Even without the lights on Tony could make out the shadows under his eyes. He took a sip.

"...no offence, Magic Mike, but **you** look like **crap**."

Loki looked away. He didn´t answer.

"Want a drink? You look like you could use one."

Again the silence stretched.

"...Yes."

"Wow, we´re not exactly chatty, are we?"

"It´s three in the night, Stark."

Tony tilted his head and waitet.

_"...So?!"_

Loki sighed long-suffering. "...Absinth. One third Guinness."

Tony choked on his cocktail, sputtered and began to cough.

" _What?!_ _ **No!"**_ He objected scandalized when he was able to speak again. "How do you- What kind of repul-" He stammered disgusted.

"... _ **No!** _ Not in MY bar!"

"Then hand me the Single Malt from up there."

A weak grin. "...If you can reach it."

"Watch it pal. Absinth and Guinness, honestly."

 

One hour and much to much alcohol later.

"Why arrnt you drunk yet?!" Tony asked.

"I **am.** " Loki growled, combing his hair back with his fingers and folding them over his nose, before he drew them along his eyebrows and rubbed his temples.

"But yur not ´s drunnk as I!"

"I am a god."

Tony tried to fix his gaze on him, but gave up quickly and pushed the Absinth towards him.

"...drink."

Loki grabbed the bottle, put it to his lips- and proceeded to empty it in one go. Tony´s jaw dropped.

"...Fuck..." He uttered impressed and whistled a little off-key.

The other put the bottle down and shuddered with a cough.

"...fuck." He agreed hoarsly.

Tony started to laugh. After a few seconds the black haired joined in quietly, drying his teary eyes on the seam of hs sleeve.

"Dya know what kinda abominnnation you demmanned from me? Absinth and Guinness, thas´ not drinkable!"

"This horse piss isn´t getting worse if you mix beer with it."

"You can sstill arcitulae- aricutae- acliturae- **express yourself cearly.** Drink!"

And he pushed his own glass towards Loki.

"Javvis, open a window!"

 

_"As you wish, Sir."_

 

A cool breeze went through the living room.

A few seconds passed.

Then Loki held onto the counter.

"...Odins beard..." He croaked. "Finally..."

"Someone is druuuunk!"

"It...took long...enough. How big... _High..._ are the chances for you to choke on your vomit...if I go back to bed now?" The black haired asked and suppressed a hiccup.

 

_"The possibility for Sir to sustain serious bodily harm amounts to 64 percent, Mister Laufeyson."_

 

"Where are you goin´, it´s jus´ gettin´ good!" Tony protested. "J, music!"

" _Norns_ above, then hand me my beverage!"

"Yeah! Catch!"

Tony got to his feet and began to move to the music, his bottle in hand.

 

_"David-david-david-david Banner-B-Banner-B-Banner, David-david-david-david Banner-B-Banner-B-Banner, David-david-david-david David-david-david-david,_

_Banner-B-Banner-B-Banner, Da-David Banner-B-"_

 

"Look atcha body- your man needs help! Stop bein´ selfish- I got notes! Take ma hand, I´ll do da rest, tell me watcha want girl- Is it S-E-S-E-X?! Daddy don´ want you, hangin´ with a thug! I bet he´s thinkin´, we gon´ _hah hah hah!"_

 

Loki almost laughed when Stark made an obscene rhythmic movement with his hips. Instead he drank a little of the vodka in his hand. The room around him slowly turned into a whirl of blurred furniture and too loud music. Without thinking about it he also began to move with the beat, first only one foot, then the upper body.

"Yeah, swing ya hips, reindeer games!" Stark yelled into his ear from behind him.

 

The next second absinth-green eyes flashed at Tony.

Hands closed around his face, he was being kissed roughly but fiery and teeth dug into his lower lip.

The half hearted protest went unheard in the music.

 

_"I can do what I want to, I play by my own rules, come with me and let´s just dance the night away! Don´t worry ´bout what I do, watch me as I move; on the floor and let´s dance the night away!"_

 

They moved backwards, a chair hit his knee pits and he sat down unintentionally, which made his hands _-when had he buried his hands in Lokis hair?!-_ loose their grip in the black mane.

Loki put his bottle down on the counter next to him, the nose only centimeters from his.

Then he straightened up, moved backwards.

Tony could only watch with an open mouth as the other followed the request to swing his hips. And _damn_ could Loki dance...

Eventually he managed to get up and join him.

 

When the song was over he plopped onto his sofa breathless and tried to unobtrusively arrange his trousers a little more comfortable. Alcohol and an attractive counterpart. A fatal combination.

Loki sank a little more controlled into the cushions, but he was also breathing a little heavier than before.

Just a little. Almost not noticeable.

Tony grinned, wriggled over to him, held the bottle under his nose and jerked his eyebrows invitingly.

A look from beyond lowered lids hit him.

"...Stark- you´ve got a boner."

Tony snorted grinning. "Normal condition?"

Rolling his eyes Loki snatched the bottle from him and took a few swigs.

"Jarv, lower the volume! And somethin´ more chill!"

A piano began to play.

Lokis scowled suspiciously.

 

_Hello darkness, my old friend_  
_I've come to talk with you again_  
_Because a vision softly creeping_  
_Left its seeds while I was sleeping_  
_And the vision that was planted in my brain_  
_Still remains_  
_Within the sound of silence_

_In restless dreams I walked alone_  
_Narrow streets of cobblestone_  
_'Neath the halo of a street lamp_  
_I turned my collar to the cold and damp_  
_When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light_  
_That split the night_  
_And touched the sound of silence_

_And in the naked light I saw_  
_Ten thousand people, maybe more_  
_People talking without speaking_  
_People hearing without listening_  
_People writing songs that voices never share_  
_And no one dared_  
_Disturb the sound of silence_

_"Fools", said I, "You do not know_  
_Silence like a cancer grows_  
_Hear my words that I might teach you_  
_Take my arms that I might reach you"_  
_But my words, like silent raindrops fell_  
_And echoed in the wells of silence_

_And the people bowed and prayed_  
_To the neon god they made_  
_And the sign flashed out its warning_  
_In the words that it was forming_  
_And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls_  
_And tenement halls"_  
_And whispered in the sound... of silence_

 

Silence.

Loki blinked for the first time since in about three minutes, spotted his bottle and emptied it in one go.

"Jeez, Jarvis. I said "something more chill", not depressing." Tony mumbled.

 

_"Apologies, Sir. Your preferences will be adjusted accordingly in the future."_

 

Music began to play, which somehow sounded...suspicious.

Both men scowled at the ceiling, exchanged a look.

 

_"I don´t know you, and I don´t really care, fixate on you, perfection, ideal!_

_I´m so sorry, this is my guarantee, this will happen, worse and repeatedly!_

_Sport for crows, patronize you for your own protection, narrow minded, red neck bleeding program!_

_Drown in her milk, waiting to be replaced, years made vapor, lost and blown away!_

Fear of...the dark!

_My mouth is full of ruin, I breath it into you!_

Princess Chaos!

_I´ll set the world on fire, I´m gonna start with you!"_

 

_**"Please don´t tell me this is your taste in music!"** _ Loki yelled over the song. Tony only shook his head with a horrified expression. "Jaaarviiis?!"

 

"One... _spoiled child, attention seeking missile!_ More... _abuse, amends and back again!_ Black... _see life, through the eyes of a psycho!_ Heart... _I know where you live...Casting darkness! Deep inside your mind! Screaming razors! Resonating down your spine!_

_Wearing you down! I´ll haunt you where you sleep! Vulnerable- I make the guilt sting!_

Fear of..the dark!

_I bathe the world in spite, it keeps you in your place!_

Growing...nervous!

_Abused, humiliated, naked and ashamed!_

I will...find you!

_My mouth is full of ruin, I breath it into you!_

Princess Chaos!

_I´ll set the world on fire, I´m gonna start with you!_

_One...more...breath...for...my...last...black...heart_

_I will not sucumb to fear_

_I won´t be intimidated!"_

 

Silence.

"...Jarvis, **what** the **fuck** **?!"**

 

_"Apologies, Sir. I assumed, taking into account your current company, the title of this song would match your sense of humor."_

 

Loki began to laugh, when Tony nodded appraisingly.

"Oh, Odin´s ravens....Get me another drink Stark, go!"

"The- The bar is right there, get it yourself! I _repeat- J_ arvis! **What the fuck?!"**

 

_"Have you got a suggestion, Sir?"_

 

"Oh, I don´t know, no fucking idea...How do you feel about _**good**_ music?! _AC/DC_ or Back Sabbath for example?!"

 

_"As you wish, Sir."_

 

"Do I have to do everything myself around here? ... **Still** here, are ya! Chop chop, getcha apple bottom over there, and get me another martini while ya at it!"

"...Watch your tongue! I am a **god** , you- _dullheaded_ being!"

"Yeah-huh, a god who´s completely _shit-faced!_ Don´t fall over, Rudolph!"

 

Loki went very still.

His eyes were empty suddenly.

"...Once...I fell..." He managed.

"Didya hit ya head then? That´d explain so many things."

The black haired didn´t seem to hear him.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Tony waved a hand in front of his eyes. Nothing.

Loki´s expression increasingly turned to horror. He started to tremble lightly, both hands clinging to the bottle of vodka.

"Hey! Reindeer Games! Man, if ya gonna puke, please not on the carpet or the couch, Pepper´s gonna rip me a new one. ...Loki?! Loki!"

Loki began to gasp shallowly. A sheen of sweat suddenly covered his forehead.

"Oh man. Is that a panic attack? It is one, I recognize it, if I see one! Holy moly, have you gotta have it now? ...I just can´t-" Tony raked his fingers through his hair, struggled for words. "...I´m not the right one for this."

Loki pressed his hand against his chest, swallowing convulsively, gagged weakly.

He looked miserable.

"Okay...Man...Uhm... Okay, talk to me." Tony tried. "What is going on with you right now?"

The trembling got harder. The black haired sounded as if he was almost hyperventilating.

"Dammit, I can´t help you like this! **Loki!** _ **Speak!"**_

A short whimper which went right through Stark.

Then Loki began to talk, fast and emotionless, with tightly closed eyes.

"...The Chitauri...Thanos... Pain... The void, in the abyss... Fear... Anger... I fell, so... _long_..."

The bottle of vodka shattered between his long fingers, the shards cut his skin.

"... _Frigga_ ... **My** fault..." He whispered.

Tears were now streaming down his face.

"Uhh... Okayyy? I´m...gonna..."

Tony choked, as Lokis hand suddenly clutched his throat.

This became disturbingly common gradually.

"Thor..." The black haired rasped. "I...need Thor!"

"O-k´y, ´ll g´t y´ Th´r!" Tony barely managed.

"Y´ c´n l´t g´ nh!"

Loki let go.

Tony gasped for breath and coughed.

"-arvis!" He panted. "Get... Thor!"

 

_"As you wish, Sir."_

 

About a minute, in which the inventor could only listen to the quiet, hoarse gasps of the demigod, nothing happened.

Then-

 

_"Sir, in regards to Master Laufeysons condition, Master Odinson advises, I quote; to smack him good- it had worked well in the past."_

 

"And why can´t he do that **himself?** Fuck´s sake! **Deploy gauntlet!"**

 

_"He says, he wouldn´t want to leave the bed for this, because you´d get it done just fine."_

 

"Thanks, hammer time." Stark grumbled.

The right gauntlet of his suit came whizzing around the corner after a few seconds and closed smoothly around his fingers.

"Okay, Houdini, that could hurt a little now."

He took a swing at him- and slapped Loki off the couch.

A dull thump, then-

Silence.

Tony crawled upon the couch, wriggled to the edge on his stomach and took a peek.

Loki lay on his back, slightly curled in on himself like a cat stretching out, hair in his face and blood under the nose.

His gaze hit Tony´s like a laser beam.

"Well? Back with me, Elsa?"

A pale hand reached up in his direction.

Just as he contemplated whether it would be advisable to assist Loki standing up- the hand passed his and plucked the cognac he had clung to the past minutes, from his fingers.

Lying down(!) the demigod emptied the bottle, belched with closed mouth while throwing it over his head and declared, accompanied by the sound of shattering glas: "...Another!"

Tony laughed.

He laughed until tears streamed down his face and his belly ached.

 

The rest of the evening (morning?) was a disjointed whirl.

Tony was aware that they approached the topic of their fathers, and then got on to frost giants, where he loudly discussed the fact with himself that he could use one to keep the ice in his scotch from melting.

As he understood that this life form seemed to have blue skin he told Jarvis to bring up the first season of "The Smurfs" and tried to explain to Loki what was so hilarious about it. It ended with Loki sobbing hystherically and screaming: _"I don´ WANNA be a smurf!"_

Over a shared glass of Pina Colada, with matching music they reconciled again, and almost insensate they kissed again, this time headed by Tony until they were too plastered to target each other right.

Meanwhile it was 6 am.

Thanks to the open window mosquitos whizzed through the room, which had become unpleasantly chilly too.

In this condition found them Steve.

 

"Yyy kno´, ya...yaare...ttlly alllright, Reimdeer- Gamedeer Reins." Tony slurred and hiccuped. "Yaare a buddy. Ain´ he a buddy, Thor?"

Across from him the thunder god pulled his brother onto his feet, while Steve put Tony´s arm around his shoulders.

"Let go´f me -crgh- Tor!" Loki demanded with heavy tongue and a painful sonding hiccup.

"I cann walk allllone."

"He´s a fine guy if he wants to." Thor agreed amused.

"And he really needs to go to bed now." Steve added.

"You both do."

"Buh de nigh´ is still young!" Tony objected.

Steve coughed disgusted as the smell of alcohol hit his nose. "But you are not. To bed."

"Las´ one out turns off de lighs!"

 

_"As you wish, Sir."_

 


End file.
